How to Make Others Happy

You want to be happy.

That is bold and assertive of me to claim on the first line of a post. Some of you will read that and – being ‘mismatchers’ – respond with ‘no I don’t.’

You are right.

This is one of my favorite conundrums (two sided puzzles). I genuinely think that 99.9% of the world wants to be happy. I’m also convinced that for many people, it is not an overt, admitted or ‘real’ desire. Or at least it’s not the main thing… other desires are more important.

Of course this can already open us to many philosophic avenues: what is happiness? How does one ‘get’ happy? ‘Who’ is it that wants happiness?

For now, let’s simplify…

I was thinking of it this way: some people come to us – to Radiantly Alive – so that they can learn to teach, serve and assist other people to be happy. I often toss out the therapeutic adage, ‘you can’t take anyone deeper than you’ve already been yourself.’ Like, ‘we can only give away that which we already possess ourselves.’

This is a great paradox of yoga philosophy… Of philosophy in general.

Ahimsa – I define it as ‘doing as little harm as possible’. I also like the definition: ‘creating as much love and good in the world as possible.’

Premises:

Being alive in the world means we will ‘do some harm.’ Even if we don’t mean to.
Whether it’s our main driver or not, almost everyone wants to be happy.
Ahimsa is predicated on the elevated philosophical understanding that we are all one – and we know that most of us experience life through the maya illusion: that we are separate individuals with an independent consciousness.
Ahimsa, as a tool to ‘our own’ awakening, realization, coming home (which is how Patanjali contextualized it) is predicated upon how we interact with others.
Philosophically, it is then in the realm of action (doing) and through the lens of that illusion of other.

Yikes… it got deep and complicated there.

(Did I just write ‘simplify’ above that?)

Now I really mean it. Simple.

These are the fundamental questions:

How do we make ourselves happy? Ahimsa suggests we make others happy.

How do we make others happy?

Great question, eh? Nobody knows. Some say it’s impossible. Many have widely varying opinions.

One thing we can all agree on (except the mismatchers, of course): we cannot make everyone happy. Back to the earlier point, eh? Which is that some people don’t really seem to want to be happy. Or something else is more important.

If we try to make everyone happy, guaranteed failure. Including the fact that we will inevitably and indubitably sabotage our own happiness.

Geez… not only did it get complicated, it got depressing.

So what to do with all that?

Do your best to make yourself happy, by doing what means something to you, and in a way that genuinely serves other people. But not everyone. Only the people for whom it does. Know that it won’t work for everyone, and even worse (for those of us who are sensitive and feel deeply): some people will rail against, criticize and blame you.

What to do when that happens is another topic. And despite having used the word simplify twice, this post is already more than sufficiently complicated.

So… I summarize and congeal.

Your happiness depends on making other people happy.

You can’t make anyone happy, though you can give it your best. And the more you succeed in it – in finding ways to truly make a difference – the happier you’ll be.

And then, the more ‘success’ you’ll have with the impossible task of making others happy.

On the way, if you try to make everyone happy, you’re screwed.

If you’re screwed (and I don’t mean in a pleasant way), and YOU’RE not happy, you won’t ‘make’ anyone happy. And thats no fun for anyone.

Get happy. Make others happy. Don’t be attached to their happiness, though making them happy (as many as you possibly can) is the key to your happiness.

Sufficiently confusing, vague and clear enough to be useful? To make you happy?