Waking Up Early

I wake up to take care of myself in the morning, and it feels great

A week ago, I got ghosted by a friend. We were together for more or less ten years. I knew him before he was successful in his career. When he and his girlfriend broke up, I acted as their mediator. He and I shared a love for Eastern philosophy; I introduced him to meditation and yoga. But abruptly, our relationship ended when I made a mistake in communication with his girlfriend. I tried apologizing to both of them but was shut out completely. I used all available channels to contact them short of real-life stalking, to no avail.

The way I see it, I have no choice but to accept what happened. Some things are beyond our control. It’s easier not to resist.

Surprisingly, the biggest thing that helped me recover was my newfound early morning ritual. A month ago, if you told me I’d wake up before seven am, I’d say you’re bonkers.

But then, I needed to change because of my job. (If you’ve been following my stories, you likely know my new job demanded new work hours.) Last week, feeling lost, I stumbled upon one episode of “The Mind Body Business” show hosted by Brian Kelly. The show featured Daniel Aaron, my teacher. There was a segment there when Daniel talked about the benefits of waking up early, among other things. What he said resonated with me because it came at just the right time.

My schedule change includes doing everything unrelated to work (as much as possible) before I start my 12:30 noon shift. This includes exercise, house chores, mom-related tasks, and self-care. Daniel suggested I wake up two hours earlier than usual every day. This would give me time to center myself before I begin my day. Ideally, I would meditate, do affirmations, and visualize, so I am fully charged before the day officially began.

Reading the show’s transcript offered me guidance on how to do my mornings right. I didn’t know I needed Daniel’s words until I started implementing my new morning routine. Unlike my previous attempts with meditation, this time, I did not follow hard rules, instead, I customized my new routine according to my liking. And guess what? When you own something and start experimenting with it to make it fit your life, you stick to it.

I’ve stuck to my new schedule and habits for 21 days now. It rocks!

So, here’s what my new early morning routine looks like:

I still wake up without an alarm. But this time, I wake up inspired because I want to fulfill my aspirations. In today’s lingo, I wake up early to do me. I want to do me before I do others (my job, my kids, the house).

After drinking water and vitamins, I wear my exercise clothes and head out the door to jog. There’s a jogging path near my place, it’s pretty decent, so I exercise daily.

While jogging or walking, I do my affirmations. I raise my arms to receive the warmth of the sun, the grayness of the skies, the smell of the rain, whatever the day brings me. I do shadowboxing to vanquish my inner demons.

Then, I clearly visualize what I want to happen in the near future or 4-5 years from now. (I can’t think further than that!)

I finish jogging and head back home. Then I shower, do my usual yoga routine, drink coffee, and start writing.

You can see that I don’t practice sitting meditation here! Honestly, it isn’t my thing. But I can definitely do yoga and jogging—moving meditation! I also injected both affirmation and visualization into the process.

In the end, I can say that my main motivation for waking up is self-care. It’s taken me this long to accept that self-care is not selfish. Before, I poured from an empty cup—I would do things famished, exercise-less, and stressed. But now that I pour from a cup that overflows, it feels lighter. It feels right. I am energized, not hungry, deprived, or desperate.

I know my ex-friend won’t be reading this, at least for now. But I’ll thank this opportunity to thank him.

Thank you, ex-friend! If it were not for you, I would not have given my meditation-enhanced morning ritual with the dedication I do now.

Specifically, thank you for ghosting me! Though I did not see it coming, I thought I knew you better. I know I shouldn’t be taking it personally. Maybe you’re going through some tough times, and perhaps I should have talked to you more before we discombobulated.

Because we ended, I see how fragile friendships can be. The pain I feel grates on my sense of insecurity. It hurts, so I am reminded to work on this issue. I’m still deeply insecure about myself and my capacity to be a good friend. Because of my insecurity, I have limited tolerance for uncertainty. I’ve still got a long way to go in terms of self-development.

But it’s OK. We’re all on equal footing here. And you, dear reader, I hope you can cope with sad endings like these. Maybe you should try waking up earlier too. I promise it feels good to wake up earlier in the morning to take care of you. We shouldn’t (always) save the best for last; hell no.