Zaida’s Believe it Or Not

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
—Hamlet in Hamlet

“Whether you believe you can do a thing, or believe you can’t, in either case you are right.” – Henry Ford

Zaida (my gorgeous 9 year old princess who daily teaches me about love, presence and patience) and I watched the Pursuit of Happyness the other night. I thought of the film in light of our recent challenging experience where we didn’t have the funds we thought we did for an event we’d be planning on. We were both crestfallen at first.

While the depth of our challenge was nothing like what Will Smith’s character dealt with on his way to success, like sleeping in a public bathroom at a subway station (the Bart in San Francisco) – and the truth is our life is charmed and blessed in so many ways – nonetheless crestfallen was close to devastated until we woke up to reality and remembered how much we have to be grateful for.

At a dinner shortly thereafter, Zaida asked a good friend (whom Zaida looks up to):

“Do you believe in Santa Claus?”

Our friend paused, thought and said: “I assume you’re asking me that because you want an honest answer?”

Zaida nodded.

The response was emphatic that she does not believe in Santa Claus, and included a couple examples of how she and people she knew had been hurt due to their beliefs in things that are not ‘real’.

I remained silent. The air was somewhat charged and I’m guessing our friend was concerned about how I would feel about the response.

At bedtime, once we were alone, Zaida immediately began interrogating me about the tooth fairy (she lost a tooth, which was the impetus for the whole discussion).

The best way I know to teach, most of the time, is through story, so I reminded her of what Will’s character had said. And I told her the story of how I gave up hopes of being able to write when the criticism I received in a UMass MFA writing class crushed me – and how when I got outside, walked and breathed (changed my physiology), I came to my senses and remembered that my beliefs and my own life’s direction is up to me.

I’ll tell y’all that story another time – it’s a good one that solidified some other lessons for me.

Bottom line? The most important things in life are the ones we cannot see: gravity (and levity), radiation and maybe even something we might call God. Or the Universe. At the top of that list, for me, right beside the beneficent force of the universe: LOVE.

I don’t know. I love mystery. And in the not knowing, I choose beliefs that empower me and those around me. If those beliefs do not harm, and do aid in creating a life of beauty and grace, I’m all in.

May your beliefs be well chosen and exactly perfect for the life you envision.

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” – Billy Shakespeare